not only alive but edible

I had a day really very off indeed. Supermarket (I bought more herb plants, this time a coriander and a basil – I enjoy having things in the flat that are not only alive but edible), chat to Haru and a bit of reading. Not really achieved anything, which is a shame. Very low energy, and no real motivation to do anything. The next three days will be quite stressful, I think, and then two more days after that before the weekend, so I’ll need all the energy I can get, and be careful about its use.

Something changed quite noticeably on the 29th or so. Not entirely helpful change. I’ll need to redouble my efforts.

22:42 – Begin writing this, having just added the last couple of days.


Wake up at 6:00, but the world is spinning violently about me. This is also true at 8:00 and 9:30. Finally get up at 11:00. Breakfast, long conversation with Juan. Although I shower and dress, I don’t feel at all capable today. Very weak and dizzy. Probably catching up after a week in-house. It’s a shame, but I’d like to be able to do something today. However, I fail in this. Juan leaves at 16:30 and I spend the rest of the day vegetating. Bah.

Let’s see what happens now.

6:00 – Rise, shower.

6:30 – Tai Chi.

7:00 – Sitting.

7:40 – Breakfast.

9:00 – My father gives me a lift to the Post Office parcel collection office, as I got a card through my door the other day. It turns out to be the parcel that I sent Haru, as the post office didn’t put the correct stickers on it. I return to the flat and collect the receipt, then go to the post office to complain. They put a sticker on the parcel and put it back in the system. Let’s see what happens now.

9:50 – Arrive at Walker’s.

Just before lunch I get a cheque from the accounts department after some arm twisting. Apparantly the fashion is now putting a 14-day payment limit on invoices. No-one told me.

13:00 – Lunch.

13:30 – To the bank to cash the cheque. There is a representative of the bank stalking the queue getting everyone who has a cheque to pay in to use the quick-deposit envelopes. I don’t have a paying-in slip, but he says that this is not necessary. The negative part of me, that has a lot of influence today, suspects that I’ll be seeing that cheque again before I see any of the actual money.

Back to Walker’s.

18:15 – Leave Walker’s.

18:30 – I arrive home in a state of destroyedness. Spend the evening watching TV.

11:40 – Juan arrives. Conversation and coca-cola.

2:00-ish – To bed.

Feeling very edgy – and very tired – all day. It actually seems like everybody is in a bad mood, but it’s probably just me.

I keep getting an echo

First of all, last night, the fact that the neighbours smoke heavily and the fact that the smoke alarms are skittish to say the least combined to make the new fact that I was woken up at about one a.m. This happens often enough not to get me out of bed. I’m assuming that in the case of a real fire there’ll be more screaming. I hope it doesn’t come to that.

6:00 – Rise.

6:30 – Tai chi.

7:00 – Sitting.

7:35 – Breakfast.

7:49 – Speak to Haru. The connection is bad today, for some reason, and I keep getting an echo, which is very off-putting.

10:00 – Leave the flat. I had aimed to do this earlier than yesterday rather than later. I missed.

10:22 – Arrive at Walker.

13:00 – Lunch. Also a bit of lying under the desk.

14:00 – Back to work.

18:33 – Leave Walker’s.

18:50 – Return to the flat. Vacuuming and tidying.

19:30 – Dinner. Or at least miso soup.

20:30 – Sitting.

21:45 – Buy some walnuts from the corner shop.

22:35 – Begin writing this.

22:50 – I accidentally delete my entry.

22:51 – Begin writing this again.

23:01 – Complete and post

under-the-desk-napping time

6:00 – Rise, shower.

6:30 – Tai Chi.

7:00 – Sitting.

7:40 – Breakfast.

8:15 – DoA, Guitar Work.

9:30 – Juan drops off his stuff and then goes off again.

9:50 – Leave the flat. The green-and-white striped awnings are out by the cathedral again.

10:10 – arrive at Walker’s.

13:00 – Lunch. I eat too much. I manage five minutes under the desk. I need to take my under-the-desk-napping time more seriously. Not Costanza seriously, but as a way of allaying that four-o-clock crash. I realise what a remarkable invention tea-time is.

14:00 – Return to work.

18:10 – Pack up for the day. Stop by Ben’s desk for a chat.

18:45 – Leave Walker’s.

19:10 – Arrive home. Nothing really gets done this evening. There’s a particular kind of tiredness I get when I’m working in-house – a psychic tiredness as much as a physical one. I think a problem I had tonight was that I left it until I got home to decide what to do, and I was dribbling so much that I decided on nothing. I have a notion of how I might address this.

22:30 – Begin writing this.

22:37 – Complete and post.

I’m a lot better prepared for it now

6:00 – Rise.

6:30 – Tai Chi.

7:00 – Sitting.

7:40 – Breakfast.

8:15 – DoA/Guitar Work.

9:30 – Talk to Haru.

9:50 – Leave the flat.

10:15 – Arrive at Walker’s. My situation has been made much more comfortable. Less chasing around, and more layer folders. Two of my ambitions in life.

Much Maisying follows, with lunch in the middle.

18:10 – Leave Walker’s.

18:35 – Return home.

19:20 – Dinner. Sandwich.

20:30 – Late shift, returning to a task that I began some time ago. Although I’m slapping myself on the wrist for the hiatus, I have to say that given the reading I’ve done in the last few months, I’m a lot better prepared for it now.

22:48 – Begin writing this.

Hmm. A skeleton of a day, there. Expect more like this, as I ease into salaryman mode for a few weeks.

The chives also get this treatment

6:03 – Rise.

6:30 – Tai Chi.

7:00 – Sitting.

7:40 – Breakfast.

8:30 – DoA / Guitar Work.

10:30 – Some house work (washing and folding, mostly). Also I find that the mint I bought yesterday is looking sad. I move it into the living room, give it some water, put its pot in a dish and sit it on one of my speakers. The chives also get this treatment, even though they were actually looking perky.

While I’ve been in the bedroom sorting clothes, the telephone in the livinng room was ringing. It was Donna from Walker’s. I return to the fold tomorrow morning.

11:30 – I locate a red box of pieces of paper that I’ve been looking for. I discover that I really don’t need a lot of them any more, so I get into a shredding frenzy. It’s fairly satisfying destroying documents like this, even if I don’t really need to.

13:00 – Lunch.

13:30 – Talk to Haru. I can identify most of the countries in Europe, but my knowledge of the geography of Asia is dismal.

14:30 – Scanning documents, just in case.

16:00 – I go to the post office with a long-overdue package.

16:30 – I take the shredded paper (and other things that need dipsosing with) to the recycling bins.

18:45 – Begin cooking.

While the soup is cooking I tidy up my workstation.

19:30 – Dinner. Udon, soup and musrooms. Fruit for afters.

21:00 – Sitting.

22:30 – Download a sample of a Tibetan ringing bowl and build a file in Logic to assist with sitting, rather than squinting at my clock, which disturbs my concentration somewhat.

23:03 – Begin writing this.

23:14 – Complete and post.

And bad stuff I’d also forgotten

Not a day that lends itself to timetabling, really, and even vaguer than yesterday.

7:00 – Rise, shower.

7:30 – Tai Chi.

8:00 – Sitting.

8:30 – Breakfast. I had two pieces of wholemeal bread and no coffee, so I had two pieces of toast with marmite and a cup of tea.

9:50 – To the supermarket. When I return I have a bowl of muesli.

12:30 – Lunch.

13:16 – Call Haru, who’s now back from visiting relatives.

Vague afternoon. I watch a bunch of episodes of The Simpsons and the Making of Kill Bill extra. Then I begin to play with Logic – I try the lyrics I wrote yesterday along with the appropriate track (clunky, not quite right yet, but including good stuff I’d forgotten. And bad stuff I’d also forgotten). Then I open old tracks I’d made with Logic 5 on OS9 and reassign the software instruments. This makes a bunch of new, and on occasion rather groovy tracks, or at least loops. I should do something with these, but I don’t really know what.

This actually takes me until half past ten…

22:46 – Begin writing this.

22:54 – Complete and post.

it takes a while for precisely what to make itself known to me

6:00 – Rise.

6:20 – Tai Chi.

6:50 – Sitting.

7:30 – Cup of coffee.

8:45 – DoA / Guitar Work (fairly extended).

11:00 – Housework – cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, sorting the living room.

14:00 – Working on some lyrics, an attempt to do so methodically. I may have ended up with some methodical lyrics, which aren’t the most highly valued kind. I haven’t looked at them yet (I’ll do it tomorrow). Lyrics are the most difficult bit, largely because I often have the rest of the song before I begin to work on them, and it’s clear to me that the song is about something, but it takes a while for precisely what to make itself known to me.

In this case I’m not sure that I know now.

16:00 – I trim the plant (that I recently put in a pot) of shoots that I suspect aren’t helping.

17:00 – I lie on the sofa and nap.

18:00 – I sort through some boxes of stuff I packed before going to Kiel. I throw some of this away. I don’t throw a lot of it away. Perhaps next time.

20:00 – Sitting.

21:10 – CSI. It seems to be on every night on Five.

22:37 – Begin writing this.

23:05 – Complete and post. A lot of gaps today. Hmmph.

chocolate poisoning

6:10 – Rise.

6:30 – Tai Chi

7:00 – Sitting.

7:35 – Go to corner shop and buy cornflakes.

7:40 – Breakfast.

8:45 – DoA / Guitar Work

13:30 – Speak to Haru. During the conversation, the phone rings (my sister, asking if I’m OK. She tells me about the failed bomb attempts) and again (someone speaking in Spanish and asking for Juan. I tell them that he is “No aqui” but that “todos es tambien”. I hope this is correct), and finally the door buzzer goes (people keep ringing my bell in mistake for someone else’s. I’m getting used to the shocked expression when I open the door and they see me. Indeed beginning to enjoy it).

After H and I ring off, I speak to my sister at greater length.

The news has taken over several of the channels and is showing some very impressive surveillance camera footage of some very dull underground stations. The second time as farce, as it were.

14:10 – Make and eat lunch.

15:00 – Communicate with Sue at Walker about the party tonight and what will happen now, who gets me a place on the official bus leaving from the company’s offices, and advises me to be there early.

17:10 – Leave the flat.

17:30 – Arrive at Walkers and wait around in the foyer until we all get on the bus (a hired double decker sitting outside). Obviously with the insane traffic it takes forever to get to Kew.

19:00-ish – The bus arrives at Kew Gardens, and we walk to where the party is going to be held. Free drinks (eventually I find some orange juice), and bowls of chocolates on the tables. General catching up, and I get a very fetching silver bear badge to take home with me.

Dinner is served, professionally if not Craftily. I notice how that professional distance makes the food some how less food. A menu designed for efficiency as much as anything else, and certainly not bad, but…

Oh, there are also two chocolate fountains…

23:00 – I leave the party and walk to Kew Bridge railway station.

23:26 – The Waterloo train arrives. I think I have chocolate poisoning. As the train is coming towards Wandsworth Town, two young men, singing a vaguely racially abusive take on a Monty Python tune, walk through the carriage. The exude quite an air of menace, genuinely and palpably. Luckily they get off at the next stop.

As I am leaving the station, a couple of other revellers at the party have just got out of a cab and are entering.

00:00 – Return home.

00:32 – Begin writing this.

01:00 – Post. I see no point in forcing myself to get up early tomorrow. Let’s see what happens.