Wednesday 14th of March, 2001
Sitting more comfortable this morning - I'm either getting he hang of cross-legged or I caught a lucky break.
After breakfast I quickly put together a much groovier flier for the Kamel Klub, which has if not that certain something, then a something - either certain or uncertain, I know not which.
Try to place a 4-up flier as a TIFF into an A4 Microsoft Word document to mail to Stanley. Word having none of it. What is this nonsense of a software company - on Sunday it was Media Player, today it's Word. Pah!
This makes me late, so I decide to catch the bus. This involves (a) waiting and (b) being stopped by a ticket inspector when he discovers that a Malefactor is attempting to pass off an out-of-date one day travelcard as a weekly pass. So the bus sits there for an age. I ask to be let off, and the Malefactor starts saying "I'll get off, is that what you want? I'll get off." No, actually, what he wants is either verification of the (false) address you gave him or for you to sit there until les flics arrive.
"You're wasting my time," he starts saying, as I get off to walk the rest of the way. No, mate, you're wasting my time. It would have been quicker to walk. It would have been quicker to hop. Backwards. Get there eventually.
Spent the morning drawing a new cutter guide for a presentation box, and amending the artwork to fit it. I really likedrawing cutter guides, I find it really relaxing. However sarcastic that sounds, it really isn't - I really do.
Very fine fajitas for lunch. And I had the vegetarian ones - this was the first time I have been confronted with a meat option that i wanted more than the vegetarian one. And I stuck to the veggie fajitas, which were very good indeed. My meat abstention is, as I might have mentioned, more out of bloody-mindedness than any moral or health reasons. Good to see bloody-mindedness winning through.
Chatted to Mara about stuff - her poetry, my ongoing performance thing. I mentioned some of the options for the late summer - probably not going to do the Big Edinburgh Thing, but perhaps the odd gig. Alternatively the GC house in Sassoferrato (although I could only afford to go for a week or so). Also mentioned my off-the-wall plans for a Grand Overseas Tour. Mara immediately very positive about this with some useful and helpful suggestions. So perhaps I should give it more thought.
Upstairs to do some guitar playing. Things like opening files, saving and printing them taking hours, so I keep on plucking into the afternoon. I really like the Steinberger as a plucked guitar, and it sounds so good. Cor.
Go on to he VAC after work - I leave Walkers at 6:30, but have to queue at the tube station (I only have a £20 note on me), then have to queue at the slowest supermarket queue in the entire world to buy a just-about-to-expire sandwich. So I don't get to the VAC as early as I thought I would, but well before the 7:30 curfew thing (get there before 7:30 and you'll get on; any later and it's in the lap of he gods).
There's a funny vibe there tonight - what I call "contractual obligation" clapping - "Well, we're here, so we might as well clap, but we don't care one way or the other". Steven's "Big Noise, Big Love" introduction didn't really get anyone going, there was no... usually people at least humour him with a cheer, but nothing. The first act supposed to be on were in the bar, so the opener turned out to be me. I was totally dessicated in the mouth department, so my gambit to open with Deja Vu was possibly less than inspired - it's a lot higher than the songs I write now, and there is more possibility of missing the pitches, and I certainly took those possibilities for intonation madness and ran with them. Not really a problem, except that the energy in the room was dead. The second song was Where Did It All Go Right, and I did that quite well, I thought - I was looking at the audience, and they were definitely watching me, but not necessarily paying attention. Now I don't necessarily deserve undivided attention any more than anybody else, but it was interesting to pick up what was happening from the front - they were passive, a low-energy front. It was not (as is often the case) a basic swell of good energy punctured by low- or bad-energy spots (for example the Valentine's Day Massacre was an extreme example of that), but just that the level was turned down. My theory is that there were a lot of people in who still need to do that thing whereby you mark down all the other performers to make yourself feel better "Well, I had to be better than him ... what is this crap ... rubbish". Which seems like a good idea, but you can't manufacture good energy for yourself out of bad energy in any way.
I discuss this with SAC and others at the bar - Steve is stricken, because he really needs the positive energy at the VAC and it takes a lot out of him when it's dead or bad-vibe. We agree that a lot of people need to learn that it is in their interest to make everybody else feel comfortable and play well because even if you are the best part of a bad night, the audience will identify you with a bad night, whereas if you are even the least good part of a very good night, that is what you will be identified with. It pays to spread the good energy around, and as Robert says: Quality is without measurement - Even if there's only a limited amount of good energy to begin with, if you spread it around it will grow. A bit of a bread and fishes thing.
Some things were getting there - Spekki Chris was pretty hot; Sarit's set managed the kind of intensity that sometimes she can, and went down very well as well. It seemed to be getting warmer (positivity-wise) as I left at about 9:30. Home, write this. List the tracks playing as I write this for a post to one of the mailing lists I belong to. Bed.